Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
