Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
