I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
