It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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