I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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