is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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