shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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