she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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