just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
