Your tits are I can't wait for
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
