Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
