Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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