just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
