she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
