Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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