Non-Jews are for practice
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
