yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
