But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
