got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
