Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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