All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
