the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need a beard to bite.
Someone signed my nipple.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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