Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
