he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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