I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
