I forgot how hot balto sounded
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
