ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Fuck appropriateness.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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