I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
someone owes me an orgasm
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
