CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
