I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
