I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
