I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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