Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
