flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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