I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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