I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
