Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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