i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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