when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
