Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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