u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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