there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
