please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
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