But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
