I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
