Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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