Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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