I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
