I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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