Apparently you make a good broom.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
