she was so not down for the gang bang
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it's great music for shaving your balls
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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