i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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