omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
